Once Upon a Type
by Blackberry-rah
Summary: Storybrooke and earth have been left behind and everyone has returned to the Enchanted forest... but they've brought social media with them. Once Upon a Type is a site that every citizen - from peasant to Royalty to Dark One - is obsessed with. #Chaos ensues! Characters: almost everyone. Ships: mostly Captain Swan, Rumbelle and Outlaw Queen.


**CHAPTER ONE**

Emma yawned, stretched and fell out of bed.

'Urgh.' She groaned, her eyes travelling up towards the alarm clock which she had brought with her when they left Earth, which told her that the time was only six fifteen in the morning.

From under the covers, her boyfriend muttered something in his sleep. He wouldn't be awake for another few hours, thanks to the astonishing amount of rum he'd been able to drink at the anniversary last night.

One year since they had left Storybrooke, one year since all of them had returned to the Enchanted Forest. Emma Swan grinned as she hauled herself off the floor and began to fumble around on her bedside table for one of her most prized possessions.

Her fingers closed around the laptop and she hauled it onto her lap and flipped it open in one smooth move, her fingers dancing across the keyboard as she logged onto the Enchanted Forest's social media site, "Once Upon a Type" (she didn't know which brainless idiot came up with the name). The homepage began to load, and Emma tapped it impatiently, excited. This was the anniversary, after all – the anniversary of the day that she, the Saviour, had saved everyone's asses from an evil force that threatened to destroy them all. She could see the top trending pages on Once Upon a Type now; #emmaswan, #theSaviour and #emmaswansamazingblondehair" were her top predictions. Once Upon a Type's homescreen always displayed the top ten hashtags and it was always the first thing anyone checked out when they bothered to log on. Since her return to the Enchanted Forest, Emma had barely gone six waking hours without checking to see whether an awesome hashtag about her was at the top of the list. Her all-time favourite hashtag was #Iwannamarrythesaviour, a trend started by her lovely boyfriend and picked up by some commoners in the south of the Enchanted Forest.

The homescreen finally loaded and Emma frantically scanned the Top Trending Hashtags list.

1: #bellesAustralianaccent

2: #reginafashionline

3: #emmaswan

THIRD? Emma gasped, it was that horrible. Her, the saviour, on her special day, and her page was behind the Bookworm's _accent_? THIRD?

Emma growled in fury.

'What is it, love?' Killian Jones mumbled from underneath the pillows.

'Killian, I am third on Once Upon a Type's top trending pages, behind Belle's Australian accent and Regina's freaking new clothes line. It's so unfair!'

'Love, stop shouting!' Killian hissed. 'I've got a wicked headache.'

'Fat lot of good you are.' Emma said, and returned to her laptop. There was no way, she decided, that the people of the Enchanted Forest really preferred Belle's accent to the Saviour. This must have been rigged. And there was only one person clever enough to hack Once Upon a Type's system. One person who could possibly want Belle's accent at the top of the list.

Emma's wandering mouse found the "start new conversation" button. She made it a publicly accessible discussion; everyone should be able to see this man own up for his crimes. She scrolled down her list of "Friends" (though most of them were frenemies really) and began to message the man she just knew was responsible for taking away her Happy Ending.

 **-0-0-0-Rumplestiltskin-0-0-0-**

The bleep of an arriving message halted him at his early morning spinning. Idiots like Charming might do a workout to prepare for the day but he, the immortal Rumplestiltskin, didn't have time for such useless rubbish.

His faithful laptop was, of course, right next to him and it was easy to grab it and flip it open. The new message on his screen read

EMMA SWAN: Rumple, I know this was you.

He rolled his eyes. Whenever Emma thought something was going wrong for her, she blamed it on him. He didn't know why. He'd sacrificed so much to get them all back here, to the Enchanted Forest, and yet she still wouldn't completely trust him!

Well, because of her non-faith in him, he'd make her wait for his reply, and he'd take a look at the top hashtags page. He was often on there.

Today was not one of the better days; two of the top ten trends were about him, with #rumple coming in at fifth and #dotherumple at seventh. Emma was third, behind his friend Regina and his girlfriend Belle. Ah. That would explain her suspicions; she thought that he had rigged the hashtags to get her annoyed!

He pulled his "le gasp" face even though there was no one to see it (Belle was still asleep) and loaded up his profile page, just to have an extra read though of how amazing he was.

Username: Rumple

Real Name: Rumplestiltskin (you roll the "R" by the way)/The Dark One

Age: Older than I look. Obviously.

Catchphrase: "All magic comes with a price"

Motto: "A giggle a day keeps the humanity away"

Likes: Giggling, calling people 'dearie', obsessing over dagger, kissing my lovely Belle, gardening, collecting rare and powerful magical objects.

Dislikes: People stealing my dagger, having to do what said people say, pretending to kiss Zelena (eww she's green), most people in general, being a villain.

Relationship status: Boyfriend to my lovely housekeeper Belle

Skills: Magic-weilding, manipulating, striking deals, gardening, dancing

Claim to fame: Tough bet between most powerful magic-worker or best giggler.

Below his profile page was his conversation inbox. As the Dark One he had many, many conversations, a lot of them with desperate people trying to make deals they didn't understand.

He would oblige Miss Swan by answering her ridiculous accusation.

 **Emma Swan** : Rumple, I know this was you.

 **Rumple:** You know what was me, dearie?

 **Emma Swan:** Stop saying "dearie" in the conversations, Rumple, it sounds pretty stupid when it's in type.

 **Rumple:** I actually am of the opinion that it sounds rather . *Giggles*

 **Emma Swan:** Look, just stop. You don't need to tell me that you're giggling like a creep. I already know that you giggle like a creep all the time.

 **Rumple:** I'm rather offended, _dearie_. The giggling is first class, actually.

 **Emma Swan:** *Growls* Look, Rumplestiltskin, why the hell did you rig the hashtags today? It was my special day, and you've ruined it in favour of your infatuation about your maid.

 **Rumple:** I have done nothing of the sort! _Dearie._

 **-Regina Hood has joined the conversation-**

 **Regina Hood:** What's your problem, Saviour? Jealous that my fashion line is more popular than you?

 **Rumple:** Well well well, your majesty *bows*. What business do you have in our humble little conversation?

 **Regina Hood:** Rumple, I really appreciate the effort, but all those mannerisms you have really don't look good in type. It takes the flair away.

 **Emma Swan:** I was just telling him that! Finally, Regina, something to agree on. RUMPLESTILTSKIN, DO NOT TRY TO TYPE LIKE YOU'RE TALKING.

 **Rumple:** No need to shout, _DEARIE._

 **Regina Hood:** Why are you two so angry at each other anyway?

 **Emma Swan:** This idiot has ruined my day before it even began.

 **Rumple:** How many times do I have to tell you, blondie, I DID NOT RIG THE HASHTAGS! It's not my fault if Belle's accent is more popular than you, though to be honest, I do see why it is at the top of the trending list.

 **Emma Swan:** What did you say? #rudemuch.

 **Rumple:** You forget, dearie, that I could turn you into a toad and SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW.

 **Regina Hood:** I never thought I'd be the one saying this but break it up you guys. I think it might be time to stop before this escalates into a full-out murder.

 **Emma Swan:** You're right. I have a boyfriend to go back to who isn't a loser. Like you two. #BURN

 **-Emma Swan has left the conversation-**

 **Regina Hood:** So, Rumple, it's just us two now. Alone. On a conversation.

 **Rumple:** For God's sakes Regina, I've told you billions of times, I will NOT provide the strobe lighting effects or be the male model for your fashion line debut!

 **Regina Hood:** But it's called "The Dark One Rises"!

 **Rumple:** Well find a new Dark One. I will NOT wear your three-piece suits.

 **-Rumple has left the conversation-**

 **Regina Hood:** WHY, Universe!

 **-Regina Hood has left the conversation-**

 **It's soooo hard writing Rumple on social media! I decided to kind of incorporate how hard it was into the story by having Regina and Emma think that it was a failure. Please tell me if you think I've written it OOC (or if the constant *giggles* is too annoying to stand).**

 **Reviews are great to let me know how I'm doing (this is my first fanfic). I'll be writing about most characters but if you have any special requests feel free to PM me with them and I'll try to write them in!**


End file.
